Iris
by CSI-missy
Summary: A angsty ChaseWilson one shot to the tune of Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. Chase needs to tell Wilson how he feels, even if it kills him.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Chase, or Wilson, or House, or the song, so don't sue, I'm nothing more than a broke high school student.**

A/N: I'm a sad Chase Wilson slasher and I liked the song. I know there is no reason to believe the Chase is self destructive, but it comes up in stories so often, I couldn't help it. Enjoy!

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Iris: Chase/Wilson

Robert Chase knew that this feeling was going to make crazy, was going to push him away from the world he pretended not to believe in. Forever; a gift that God gave to those who followed and who obeyed. Chase hardly believed that this lust fit in the criteria, but he didn't care. He'd give it all up just to be able to share one kiss with the man he loved, and have that man love him back.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow_

With this feeling inside him, he knew that he'd ever see Heaven, not that he'd been close before. He'd given up religion, and with that, he'd given up his place in God's kingdom. All he wanted right now was to feel something, something to make it all worth it. He paced around the Diagnostics Lounge, not wanting to leave, just wanting to be loved.

_You're the closest to Heaven, that I'll ever be, and I don't want to go home right now._

Before he knew what he was doing, his feet led him out of the room and down the long hallway. Chase needed to see him, needed to tell him, and needed to know. The only thing he could think of was the feelings he felt and man that made him feel this way.

_And all I can taste is this feeling, and all I can breath is you light_

He stopped outside the doorway, suddenly unsure of what to do next. The moment seemed to last forever. He stood there with his hand inches from the door, hoping and silently praying, that his quest was not in vain. Chase rested his head against the door for a moment, trying to catch his breath and slow his racing heart, a moment that seemed to last forever. The moment broke and Chase pushed open the door, without knocking and stepped into the spacious office.

_And sooner or later it's over, I just don't want to miss you tonight._

James Wilson looked up from his paperwork, he'd been staying late almost every night for the last month as the fights with Julie grew more and more heated. He saw Chase in the doorway, moving into the office with a quiet grace. Chase closed the door behind him, and Wilson felt his heart skip a beat as the young doctor stopped before looking at him through a curtain of blond hair. Chase knew that nobody would understand this feeling, but he knew that he had to tell Wilson.

_And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. _

The world was not meant to be broken. Love like what Chase felt for the older doctor shouldn't exist. Chase had often wondered if Wilson even knew he existed, or could even guess how much Chase loved him. The idea that Wilson didn't even know Chase existed, nearly brought the younger man to tears; tears he would never cry.

_When everything's mean to be broken, I just want you to know who I am._

Chase hadn't cried in years. He hadn't cried when his father left them when he was fifteen, or anytime since then. He'd trained his body to be strong and not to show weakness. He no longer needed to fight back the tears, because the tears never fell. And even though through all the years Wilson had said he loved his wife, loved his wives, Chase could see that it wasn't true. In the moment their eyes met Chase wished he could cry, find those lost tears he'd held onto so long and let them fall, let Wilson see how much he hurt. In that same moment, Wilson wanted to tell Chase how much he cared, and finally stop lying to himself and everyone around him.

_And you can't stop the tears that ain't coming, or the moment of truth in your lies._

Chase stepped into the room, he wanted to speak, but he couldn't find the words. It seemed so unreal that he was here, that he was actually doing this. Wilson stood, slowly, as though trying to anticipate what was going to happen. It was like a scene from a movie, where the two main characters figure out that they love each other, and they don't know if the other one shares their feelings.

_When everything feels like the movies, and you bleed just to know you're alive._

Chase's sleeves were rolled up, and for the first time, Wilson noticed the long scars healing on Chase's strong arms. The signs of old torment and the remnants of the pain he'd lived through before. He wanted to hold the boy, tell him everything would be fine, but he didn't move. Chase looked into Wilson's eyes, blue locking with brown, and wished he could find the words to tell Wilson how he felt.

_And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand_

"Chase, what are you doing here?" asked Wilson, breaking the silence between them.

"I needed to…" Chase trailed off, still so unsure of what he was doing. He was so close, yet so far away. Wilson's eyes betrayed him and Chase saw it; Wilson knew why he was here, he knew what was going on.

_When everything's meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am._

"Chase…"

"I love you."

"Pardon?"

"I can't hide it anymore. I don't care anymore if you love me back, but I want you to know. I want you to know who I am."

"Chase…" But Chase turned to leave. The short distance, less than an arms length, stretched with the first step Chase took, trying to escape the mess he'd created. A soft grip, holding his arm, made him turn back.

_And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand_

Wilson didn't say anything, he didn't have to. His next move said everything. The slightest pull brought Chases into his arms, and the softest movement brought their lips together. Chase held onto Wilson's shirt, clinging to the soft fabric, and Wilson let his other hand rest lightly on Chase's shoulder.

_When everything's meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am._

When Wilson stepped back, Chase didn't let go. A soft tear formed in his eye and made a small trail down his face before falling from his chin and hitting the floor. The tears that Chase hadn't been able to find, now flowed again, only this time, they weren't tears of sorrow, but tears of happiness.

_

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**I wrote this because I'm a sad strange little woman with too much time and too many songs stuck in my head. R&R but please no flames. **_


End file.
